Words Hurt

People are so quick with their words, not taking into consideration how they may affect a survivor of crime.

I have had people make comments such as you didn't know he was a murderer, or making disrespectful comments about domestic violence and how women stay, not realizing that's easier said than done.

Other comments include, well, it's okay, no, it's not okay, or well at least he is locked away, or you never saw a red flag with him.

I have even heard comments such as stuff like this doesn't happen to you; you're so positive.

I can't even get over comments like I told you so.
 Let me be direct with you: trauma doesn't care if you're rich or poor.

If you're the most happy-go-lucky person there is, trauma doesn't discriminate.

 I don't know who thinks those remarks are comforting.

They are disrespectful if you simply can't think of anything kind to say.

Please kindly don't say anything at all.

Watch your words; they are powerful.

Your words can really affect the mental state of a survivor of trauma.

Your words can lead them to have a mental breakdown or even lead them to the streets, even worst, suicide.

Just be mindful.

Survivors of crime already have low self-esteem.

Don't give survivors more reasons to blame themselves or feel guilty.

Life is already challenging enough without hateful comments.

Maybe you don't mean to say them.

Words have an instrumental effect on survivors.

Even the word victim is hard to hear for some.

I never once thought of myself as a victim, or anyone else going through my situation isn't a victim.

We are survivors, warriors, courageous, brave, and strong.

 Please understand that words hurt.

No, we don't see trauma coming.

We hope for the best in the people we love.

We never want to think the worst.

This is a journey, and it's an ongoing process.

This is my new normal.

I, too, have a life sentence.

Life is difficult enough without negative comments.

Use your words wisely.

Words can be so painful.

It may affect a person more than you know.

I get it if you haven't been through trauma, you may not know what to say to a survivor; sometimes, it means just being a listener, and if you can't do that in a healthy, positive way.

Maybe you need to take a step back.

Survivors need a good set of ears and people with nothing but pure and honest intentions.

They need people with a kind heart.

If you can't be that person, then walk away.

Be respectful and be mindful, and now that survivors fight the fight every day.

That is an effort in itself.