When Trauma Resurfaces

Trauma resurfaces based on memories, past and present experiences.

Trauma resurfaces due to attending court, providing impact statements, possibly running into your abuser if they aren’t in jail , and even getting into another toxic relationship , anniversaries of past trauma’s.

Trauma resurfaces when we feel fear, stress, anxiety, difficulty eating, even taking a breath can become challenging and overwhelming.

Trauma also resurfaces when we feel threatened, or validated.

Back in October of last year I was once again living in the past as I felt a rush of fear take over as I was approached by car, waving me down to get in.

It was dark, and rainy.

I felt as though my trauma was happening all over again , and just maybe I wouldn’t be alive to talk about it.

When cars, strangers approach us we can’t help but think of a worse case scenario.

Those past scars really play an instrumental effect on us.

I mean how can they not?

Trauma definitely can make us wiser and stronger, however we can also just as easily be pulled right back in.

Especially when we feel unsafe.

Dark days, dark moments are always going to be with us.

We must learn to grow with those dark days.

When trauma resurfaces, our brains become rewired again, putting us back in worse case scenario mode.

Are minds tend to go straight to the trauma, and the layering effects in which it has on us mentally, emotionally, verbally.

Our minds fear and fight for our lives all over again.

We must remember to get in front of our trauma not behind it, or else it will knock us right back down. 

We have to be willing to look fear in the eye,  and say I got this.

We must remember our tool box, and the resources we have and outlets we have gained.

Text or call your councilor, if you feel as though you're in immediate danger call 911 right away, don’t question it.

Follow your intuition and let it guide you, when you have a bad feeling follow it.

Let your mind, heart, and stomach be the sources of telling when something is off.

Your trauma is always going to be with you, and for me personally it will follow me for the rest of my life.

I have been served a life sentence.

I never know what one day is going to be like the next.

I could be having an incredible day, and check my mailbox, and just that a good day becomes a not so good day when you get parole letters.

Everyday can feel like a waiting game.

That's why it’s important to focus on what you can do at that time.

Focus on how you can better yourself .

Focus on what you can control in your life.

Focus on your support network.

Focus on rebuilding , and restructuring a better version of yourself.

Trauma will come and go , you have the power to decide what a good day is, and what a not so good day is.

Feel what you need to feel.

When you have a resurface, it can seem like a relapse , just remember to get back, and keep rising.