Trauma On Both Sides Of The Relationship?
Yes you can have a successful and stable relationship after experiencing trauma on both sides.
Your trauma doesn’t have to define you as an individual or as two people in a relationship.
You choose and you define what it is you want and don’t want in a relationship with yourself and your partner.
You get to write the story you want.
If you want love, go for it, make it happen with that special someone.
Trauma shouldn't be a good enough reason why you can't love or be someone’s teammate or have a forever partnership between the two of you.
It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be a lot of work and dedication.
If the two of you are willing to put in the time and the effort to make it work then you will.
In order to make it work you have to have to bring certain things to the table. Those things include honesty, communication, love, trust, understanding, compassion, and empathy.
You have to have a supportive partnership where you can listen openly to each other, where you can build on thoughts and ideas to come together.
It starts with you though and how much you're willing to do for the person, and how you can be everything that you need to be to come full circle.
You're never going to have a perfect sunshine relationship.
However you can work on being the best you can be for the relationship through counselling, though also find your passion and what motivates to be all that you can be, for me it’s the gym, that's layering into establishing who I am so I can be fully committed and bring what I need to the table.
In a true relationship you never stop building on yourself, you keep restructuring everyday so you can be everything your partner needs you to be.
You have to be willing to open up and not just talk about the good things, but also understanding the hardships and how you can get through them together and wanting to get them together, and that requires effort and willingness.
You sacrifice the good for the bad and the bad for the good.
You aren’t afraid to be yourself and speak up when an issue presents itself.
You don’t give up when it’s simple to throw the towel, if you truly love someone for everything they are then you work through it.
Nothing in this life, or this relationship at some point won’t get stressful of course it will, you may bring or have reflections of your past trauma, you will have those insecurities, those moments of self sabotage it doesn't mean it can or will define a relationship.
Own and acknowledge your mistakes, talk about them, but it doesn’t mean you have to live there?
You can’t ruin yourself down to the ground over something you said or shouldn’t have said. You take accountability and you discuss as a team.
You listen without judgement, you comprend to understand.
You can’t take back what's already been done, you can choose to push forward, if that's a choice and option as a partnership.
Your relationship starts with you , you have control and power to influence your relationship in a negative way or in a more positive way.
Are we going to get into disagreements?
When you get in disagreements is it enough to walk away or does love over power that anger and frustration?
Only time will tell.
If you truly love someone you support that person, you don’t walk away to find a resolution to the problem and have those tough conversations.
Knowledge is power and understanding is listening.
Our trauma’s don’t have to reflect our present moments, we can choose how we want to set the bar.
We choose to learn from our past and gain clarity into our present moments.
True love only comes around once and when you know you have it rather you have been through trauma or not. Hold on tight and never let it go.
Remember what life was like before that true love came into life and swept you off your feet.
If you feel as though your life is fuller with the person in it, then don’t allow it to become unfilled.