How Trauma Affects Relationships

Trauma affects relationships through our ability to trust.

Trust becomes lost.

We lose the meaning of the word trust.

Our guards and our walls come up, where we instantly push people away.

Why not?

Doesn't it become the easier choice?

Why not block people out?

Betrayal hurts way to much

Pain hurts way too much.

Having someone tell you they love you, then place hands on you hurts too much.

It’s a dagger that hits the heart.

If we can’t trust the ones closest to us to protect us, keep safe, and love us unconditionally then who can we trust?

When trauma is not resolved the tension builds up with us, which can create distance, miscommunication in a relationship, and we tend to create a lot of unnecessary arguments and disagreements.

Our past and upbringing can also affect our relationships with others.

If we ourselves felt neglected and unlovable, how can we begin to form or have a healthy relationship, we can't until we heal our broken wounds.

Healing starts and begins with us.

We have a choice to develop healthy, loving, and nurturing relationships or we have a choice to spend the rest of our lives having a negative mindset when it comes to relationship building.

We must find the strength to overcome those challenges and hurdles, and not allow our traumas to define something that can be so beautiful; rather it's a romantic, or a friendship.

We must learn to accept what it is we deserve and let go of what isn't supporting us.

To close ourselves off of a relationship because trauma isn't going to make us happy it's going to bruise our social skills, our confidence in ourselves and on others.

Just because one person or more hurts us in our lives , doesn't mean everyone has bad intentions.

Sometimes we must go through something to get something .

Sometimes darkness shakes us up so we gain perspective and clarity into what we deserve in our relationship, to provide with a new view, and a new understanding, of what it is and what we don`t want.

We must learn to create healthy boundaries for ourselves and for others by starting therapy and going back to where your trauma first came to play.

Recognize and acknowledge the trauma`s that may have impacted you the most and feeling as though trust and honesty can never be again because it was so disrespected.

We learn emotional bonds early in life and when we don't have the proper influence and the proper upbringing life can become dangerous. 

If all we know is toxic relationships the chances of us getting into a toxic relationship is much too high.

What we see becomes what we know.

Patterns and habits develop at childhood, it's vital to have the proper role models around you.

Getting trapped and sucked into very dangerous relationships can become so easy when we are misinformed or go through trauma at an early age.

As children and young teens, brains are still developing.

When we come from a loving and nurturing environment we begin to see beautiful relationships  form and be created.

When we don't have those healthy patterns our lives can become unsafe and trauma traps us.

I myself know this all too well, as I myself fell for someone so toxic it almost killed me.

As trauma survivors we become vulnerable which if that's dealt with we can become tangled in a web of domestic violence, or abuse.

 When we are ready to step forward and acknowledge what trauma did to us and recognize and identify our emotions and feelings, that's when we find healing and strength in moving forward..

We can then create a world around us of trusting, loving, and patient relationships.

When we are at our best it is then we can attract what we are hoping for and what it is we deserve.

Self discovery is key to healing and having and creating positive relationships starts with getting yourself the proper help not just counselling, also self help books, life coaches, and taking courses. 

Once you rebuild yourself relationships begin to fall into place especially when you're least expecting those relationships to occur.

You have to trust yourself in order to trust someone else.

Once you trust your decision making , your relationships goals become more clear and you develop healthy expectations of what is acceptable versus what isn`t.