How Does Domestic Violence Feel?

Domestic violence feels lonely, fearful , like a drug you can’t seem to pull away from.

You feel drained mentally, physically, emotionally, and even verbally because you're constantly thinking and watching what you're saying when dealing with your abuser.

You feel confused, because how can a person that once told me they loved me put their hands on you? How could you call me those harsh names? What did I do to deserve this?

You constantly feel as though you're on egg shells. You constantly wonder when the next ball will drop.

You feel stuck because of financial reasons, children may be involved.

It’s not as easy and simple as just picking up and walking out.

In order to leave your abuser you have to feel safe.

You feel distant and closed off because many of your friends and family don’t understand why you just don’t pick up and walk away.

You feel a sense of obligation to your abuser especially when and if they say “I am sorry, it won’t happen again”. 

You constantly feel as though you need to please your abuser on some level.

You constantly feel as though you need to change yourself and who you are for your abuser to stop hurting you.

You think that if you compliment your abuser, or you look prettier, by getting new makeup, new clothes, new hair that it will be enough to make them stop.

It will either be a bandaid fix, or the abuse will escalate.

You can’t change someone that doesn’t see a problem with his or her actions.

Rarely do abusers ever change; they get more manipulative, more demanding, and way more controlling. They don’t have a flitter.

Domestic violence also makes you feel lost, as if you don’t know who you are anymore, especially the longer you stay the more you take from yourself.

You lose your self esteem, self worth, and confidence.

You feel so depressed and anxious.

Especially if a lot of supporters have turned their back on you.

You feel anxious because you're constantly waiting for something to go wrong.

You feel like the walls are closing in around you and you can’t breathe.

You feel constant panic.

You feel doomed.

Maybe this is your first relationship ever, and it’s all you know, or maybe as survivor abuse it’s all your use to maybe you witnessed this growing up between your parents.

You feel as though your memory is fading because you have lost oxygen from all the times your abuser had they’re hands around your neck.

You feel as if there is no way out. 

Let me be direct ,there's a way out of this hell, this pain, this darkness, this storm.

You have to take action, and  get out of the mind set that your abuser will change because he or she won’t.

You have to reach out to your  local shelter, the police if your in immediate danger take action on your life today.

Let me tell you that you matter, you are valuable, you are worth it.

You have the power to change the direction of your life today is the day to take action through a safety plan. 

I believe in you.