How Do You Rebulid Yourself After Domestic Violence?

After experiencing horrific abuse, rather it’s physical, mental, verbal, or emotional, it can leave one hell of a scar.

It can leave you  feeling hopelessness, despair, sadness, anger, and frustration, and confusion as to how you got here, and how you ended up in this situation.

It can leave with more questions than answers.

We don’t think that we could be in a domestic violent relationship, we don’t plan on it , because our hearts want to see the best in people, especially the ones we love.

Our self esteem , our self confidence goes right out the door, it hits rock bottom.

Especially after we have been exposed to abuse. 

Our minds think we are not good enough, cause that's what our abuser told us.

We start believing the hateful words, and we become further away from the positive thoughts.

To rebuild yourself takes strength.

It’s a journey of healing and overcoming obstacles.

It’s putting yourself first which isn’t selfish at all.

How can you give to any type of relationship?

The first relationship has to be with yourself for yourself, that's progression.

You will be willing to take the necessary steps in order to move forward and better your life.

It’s all about turning your pain into strength, you have to be willing to dig deep in order to find and grow that strength.

You have to find what makes you sparkle and shine, and provides you with recurring hope for a better tomorrow.

That starts with counseling. It's important to have someone that is on the outside of your life, with no judgment, only ears to listen.


A counselor is someone who can help support you and provide you with the proper recommendations to go into a positive direction.

Rebuilding starts with you going through your past traumas, you have to be willing to open up to your counselor about everything.

If you overlook things from the past you won’t heal properly.

When you have an open cut , you clean it all up and put a bandaid on it so it can heal, it’s kind of like yourself you have to take care of the wound for it to heal up properly or else it will get infected.

In order to live in the present and the here and the now you have to clean up your past through addressing it, owning it, getting in front of it..

Counseling is a stepping stone in order to grow and learn and flourish into the person you know and what to become.

You start to heal when you address everything, that's rebuilding.

You want to better yourself long term, in order to have healthier and better you, and to develop positive meaningful relationships.

You have to be willing to find that spark and passion inside of you,  maybe as a domestic abuse survivor you can volunteer and bring knowledge insight into others who are struggling, maybe you can write a book, go to the gym, even go for long walks, draw , and play instruments.

Find something that makes you come alive so you can feel that empowerment, that hope, that encouragement, that's how you get confidence, a healthy self esteem ,and self worth back by taking control of your life, you being in the driver's seat of your life.

You have to be willing to look at your life for what it is that you want it to be, nobody can fix this but yourself.

You have to be willing to take the steps into your hands, in order to make a real change, so you can rebuild and re structure in a healthy manner.

It’s like an alcoholic, or a drug addiction, they have to be willing to want the help.

The key is developing a relationship with yourself first and foremost.

Love yourself fully and truly, allow yourself to be proud of yourself, acknowledge the small things, each day find something that you're proud of .

I am proud of you and how far you have come, now you tell yourself the same thing. I believe it , and so can you.